Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
