On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
