the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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