She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
