addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
