so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
