Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
