i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
