do herpes really smell.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
