Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
