OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
