Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
