So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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