I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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