So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
