How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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