I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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