I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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