conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
