Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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