Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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