Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
