would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
