Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
