It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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