I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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