Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
