seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
