I just pynch a tree in the face
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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