Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
