there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
