I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
