I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
