last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
