i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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