Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
And then my night got REAL pukey
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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