Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
should my penis look like a turkey
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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