Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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