Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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