I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
