then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize