Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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