Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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