he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
