I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
