I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
