coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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