How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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