you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
