By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
