she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."