a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ketchup is God's man juice
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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