marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
