I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
