I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
