It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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