I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
