she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
