How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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