i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize