So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
