I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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