we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
